Hello again

                                                Reliquary watermedia on Yupo 14x11 inches

                                                           watermedia on Yupo 26x20

                                                Hindu-Kush watercolor on Yupo 14x11 inches

 Three recent paintings though a few more are in process, not quite ready for their debut yet. 

In his Twitterless world the former president can`t dominate the public sphere anymore. Isn`t it great to wake up in the morning and not wonder what he`s done? Since the inauguration it`s been a quiet time for me. As I wait my turn for the vaccine, one day isn`t too different from the day before. If I weren`t painting I would have lost my mind by now. With John fully vaccinated, he`s the public face of our household now. Any errand to be done, he`s the man. I write the most detailed shopping lists you`ve ever seen, I coach him before he leaves on where everything is and while he`s out, I`m available for texts. He`s getting good at it! Meanwhile I lie low trying not to bump into one of the 'variants'. All reports say they will soon be common and that they are so much more contagious. Yet the rates of infection and deaths are falling rapidly everywhere. This is good news of course but there is a disconnect I am not hearing about. Why with these more contagious strains are there fewer cases?

 Local Oregonians had some real drama beginning a couple of weeks ago. The polar vortex that humbled Texas also took a devastating swipe at us. Ice storms on top of snowfall caused many of our numerous trees to fall taking power lines with them. Over 350,000 homes were without power for part of a week, with some still not back in service. Mine was not the only home without an electricity-free heat source. After two cold nights we had had enough but there was not a hotel room anywhere. Then I checked across the Columbia where my family is and they had not lost power. I called the Camas Hotel and yes, they had rooms available! Hallelujah! It is such a cool little place right in the middle of charming downtown Camas. Reasonable price too, I highly recommend it. When the power came back we returned to freaked out cats but surprisingly little spoiled food. Friends of mine were not as fortunate as quickly.

However the situation in Texas was truly a scandal. When deregulation is so prized it`s only a matter of time until tragedy strikes. The [Republican] leaders of that massive state failed their citizens badly. I can only imagine how humiliating it would have been to be unable to protect your children from the penetrating cold. Families with kids have had the worst year possible and I`m worried it will haunt us.

The lights are on again in Austin and Dallas and Houston, but I hope they remember this betrayal of public trust in the next election.

                                             Riverrun Park   watermedia on yupo 26x20 inches

 I began this after an exhilarating walk last November but it soon faltered. That is so disappointing when strong inspiration and enthusiasm aren`t enough. It wasn`t hopeless so I set it aside. In late January I was able to rescue it.

                                                                       Forrest Moses

 An acquaintance, mentor, hero of mine recently died. Forrest Moses was unique in his ability to construct an abstract expressionist landscape. Sometime after moving to New Mexico I discovered his work and it truly changed everything. It would be many many years before I was as happy with my own work. I contacted him and he asked me over showing me his studio and even his methods. He was very generous and presented me with a new ideal of what landscape painting could be. For years he was the lodestar. We weren`t friends, he was older and from a more genteel world but we eventually came to draw together in a figure study group and I got to know him more. I knew I was coming into my own maturity when I could just appreciate his work without comparison. He was a great painter.

                                                                     Forrest Moses

                                                                         Forrest Moses

 I was a witness to a fun Zoom interview with Lois Dodd in conversation with the wonderful painter Eric Aho. She is 93 and has been a dogged proponent of perceptual painting since forever. She is still dragging her gear out into the field to paint the landscape in person. I probably admire her more than her work, but I`ve learned from it.

                                                                          Lois Dodd

                                                                           Lois Dodd

 

 If anyone is still baking, I have the best recipe for whole wheat I`ve ever encountered. John found it and has made it repeatedly. It is a beautiful all purpose bread that slices easily, freezes without drying out, is great for sandwiches and French Toast and especially for tearing into while still a little steamy. Every time, we are just amazed at how good it is.

                                                    I couldn`t find who took this sweet photo

  OK, here is an opinion piece by Charlie Warzel of the New York Times. They allow five 'free' articles a month and with a sane president now, maybe you haven`t used them up. He`s writing about Michael Goldhaber and his assertion that the internet is rewiring our brains. This essay explained commerce and politics in this era better than anything I`ve read. Now I know why social media annoys me so much; the clamor! As if everything is really important. He talks about how we now live in an 'attention economy' and he claims it`s well worth our effort to pay attention to what we give our attention to. If you have some time, read it. I felt sort of enlightened afterward.

                                                                        by Paul Basye

Click HERE for work in my studio for sale

Here for prints

 

Unafraid Under Our Own Vine and Fig Tree

                                                    Icy Slide watercolor on Yupo 26x20 inches

When day comes we ask ourselves where can we find light in this never-ending shade? The loss we carry a sea we must wade. We’ve braved the belly of the beast. We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace. In the norms and notions of what just is isn’t always justice. And yet, the dawn is ours before we knew it. Somehow we do it. Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken, but simply unfinished. We, the successors of a country and a time where a skinny Black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president only to find herself reciting for one.

Joe Biden kicks off presidency with executive orders to reverse Trump’s policies – live

Read more

And yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect. We are striving to forge our union with purpose. To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters, and conditions of man. And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us, but what stands before us. We close the divide because we know to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside. We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another. We seek harm to none and harmony for all. Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true. That even as we grieved, we grew. That even as we hurt, we hoped. That even as we tired, we tried that will forever be tied together victorious. Not because we will never again know defeat, but because we will never again sow division.

Scripture tells us to envision that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree and no one shall make them afraid. If we’re to live up to her own time, then victory won’t lie in the blade, but in all the bridges we’ve made. That is the promise to glade, the hill we climb if only we dare. It’s because being American is more than a pride we inherit. It’s the past we step into and how we repair it. We’ve seen a forest that would shatter our nation rather than share it. Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy. This effort very nearly succeeded.

But while democracy can be periodically delayed, it can never be permanently defeated. In this truth, in this faith we trust for while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us. This is the era of just redemption. We feared it at its inception. We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour, but within it, we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves so while once we asked, how could we possibly prevail over catastrophe? Now we assert, how could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?

We will not march back to what was, but move to what shall be a country that is bruised, but whole, benevolent, but bold, fierce, and free. We will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation because we know our inaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation. Our blunders become their burdens. But one thing is certain, if we merge mercy with might and might with right, then love becomes our legacy and change our children’s birthright.

So let us leave behind a country better than one we were left with. Every breath from my bronze-pounded chest we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one. We will rise from the gold-limbed hills of the west. We will rise from the wind-swept north-east where our forefathers first realized revolution. We will rise from the Lake Rim cities of the midwestern states. We will rise from the sun-baked south. We will rebuild, reconcile and recover in every known nook of our nation, in every corner called our country our people diverse and beautiful will emerge battered and beautiful.

When day comes, we step out of the shade aflame and unafraid. The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.

"The Hill We Climb" by Amanda Gorman, National Youth Poet Laureate

No surprise I`m biased, but that was the best inaugural I`ve seen. Not the least because of Amanda`s gorgeous, hopeful poem. She recited it with an upbeat gravity, mature way beyond her 22 years. You can see her performance here.

The man-child president is gone and I`m sure many were overwhelmed by a feeling of a great danger being lifted. The American carnage he warned of in his own inaugural speech came true by his own indifference, incompetence and anger. His own Department of Homeland Security said it was the safest election in a hundred years. His own attorney general said there was no evidence of widespread fraud. The election wasn`t stolen, the psychopath just couldn`t accept his own defeat. So he sent his mob to attack the capitol, abetted by traitors to their oaths of office in Congress. For shame. 400,000 dead of the corona virus, of which he takes no responsibility at all. The sorrow in so many cut down before their time, is vast. 

At least he`s gone now. His opportunity to hurt has been diminished.

I don`t know what to say to those 73 million voters. His evil was so starkly obvious. How were you OK with that? My fear is that the racism that infects everything in our country is the root of it. White supremacy is the expectation of most of us. That term encompasses the KKK for sure but it also includes mundane assumptions about the comfort and privilege of white Americans. It is the default position we are used to no matter how cruelly it plays out. It is so ingrained it will be the work of a lifetime merely to see where it hides.

Joe Biden promised African Americans he would always have their backs. I deeply hope he keeps that pledge. The electoral unity and activism of that beleaguered community literally saved our democracy. Their participation delivered a victory for the new president and then two months later, against huge odds, gave Georgia two new senators and the president a working majority in Congress. As the new president once said when Obamacare was signed into law, "this is a big fucking deal!". The attack in DC diverted the countrys attention from this major feat, but if you value our democractic origin, let`s always be mindful of it. Although there is no scientific foundation for 'race', its role in our society is all too clear. White supremacy and domestic terrorism are the most dangerous threats we face. So let us face them deliberately.

[Sorry for the mix of fonts and presentation, I can`t seem to copy and paste on blogger without screwing it up. If anyone knows how to do this properly, please tell me!]

                                                               watermedia on Yupo 26x20 inches

 Another new work. These abstract paintings are taking a long time to finish. Much of it is just living with it until its merit is revealed or a new course of action is indicated. But once they really are done, my affection for them is real. No doubt because of the struggle.

Click HERE for work for sale in my studio

HERE for prints

Home alone in the Darkness, celebrate!

                           Cook`s Butte Study watermedia on Yupo 14x11 inches, 35.5x28 cm

 This solstice, Australia is not burning, an impeachment is no longer necessary and the Covid 19 vaccine is here! I`m sure grateful, my nurse husband will get the vaccine tomorrow. There is some new evidence that just one shot may be enough thereby doubling the supply. The whole endeavor to produce this vaccine is nothing short of a miracle. Medicine never moves this fast. It`s a hopeful sign that when the world mobilizes, great things can happen. Nearly 40 years have passed since HIV decimated my generation and its vaccine remains elusive.

Soon a responsible decent man will lead our country. Halleluja!

At long last, Congress just passed a new pandemic relief bill today! Mass poverty averted for now.

But the virus rages on. More now have died than during World War 2. The I-pads above are in a hospital ready for the final goodbyes of those dying of Covid. As we all know, because it is so contagious, the families and friends of the dying are not allowed near. The sacred passing from life to death is experienced alone. There is and will be a serious psychological reckoning.

                                    Winter Light watercolor on Yupo 14x11 inches, 35.5x28 cm

                                    Burial at Sea watercolor on Yupo 14x11 inches, 35.5x28 cm

                                    Replication watercolor on Yupo 14x11 inches, 35.5x28 cm

 My most successful efforts of late have been small. With two larger paintings, the struggle continues. These paintings have no destination which has allowed for some patience in resolving them. That feels wonderful. The personal gifts from the pandemic have been significant. As befitting a relationship with a deadly disease, priorities are swiftly reordered into their proper sequence. Concerns that festered are tossed out as the vanities they always were.

 Because John works in a hospital, we understood in a visceral way we could both die from the virus. So we got our act together and created a Living Trust. The future care of my work is addressed and all our affairs are in order. Being so adult nearly killed us but it`s done.

 From a child still young enough to believe in Santa Claus, he questions his own legitimacy. Yes, even some children this young, know they are gay. This is why I talk about my marriage. This is why I use the word husband. This is why I out myself constantly with every person I meet. If there is a context for saying it I will. I owe it to this boy to do what I can to make homosexuality normal and unremarkable. Insist on the reality that it is a fact of nature. And hold religion responsible.

 See that mountain back there? That is Cucamonga Peak, a talisman for the kids of Fontana Calif, where I grew up. It hovered above everything until it got to smoggy to see it. Trust me on this, living in a heavily polluted place harms the spirit as much as the body. I had to leave. Then, California took responsibility for its air, passed laws to clean it up and is now a leader in developing new technologies and strategies to counter global warming. In 1988 I was reading the New Yorker and came across a natural history of the San Gabriel Mountains [Cucamonga Peak is at the east end of the range] by John McPhee. I felt like my mountain worship was vindicated.

Since I`m painting with watercolor so much, I`ve been studying the work of others. Here are some new favorites;

                                                                   Anna Maria Potamiti

                                                                          Ella Clocksin

                                                                        Kamilla Talbot

 Found this on a Portland OR subreddit. Discovered in a back alley poetry shrine;

                                                                 Laura Grace Weldon

 

Click HERE for work available in my studio

HERE for prints

80,000,000! + new work

                            Rain in Arashiyama watermedia on Yupo 40x26 inches, 101.5x66 cm

                                               watermedia on paper 19x14 inches, 48x36 cm

                          Deeper Conversation watermedia on Bristol 13.5x11 inches, 34x28 cm

                                            watermedia on Yupo 40x26 inches, 101.5x66 cm

 After the 2016 election, a friend very upset at the outcome, asked me to sign a petition claiming there had been fraud. I told her I hadn`t read of any credible accounts of trouble and said no. Trump had won,  as sickening as that was. Democracy is full of pain. I`ve suffered plenty since the 1972 re-election of Richard Nixon. His opponent was a war hero and one of the kindest men in politics, George McGovern.  That the current president got 73,000,000 votes still has me reeling a month later. Thank GOD a majority understood this election was an emergency. I used to wonder how the Nazis were elected in Germany. Now I know. That the Republican Party which produced this cruel and ridiculous politician wasn`t wiped out along with him, is a an infinite source of dismay. If Democrats can`t win in a pandemic, with a severe economic recession and a lunatic 'leading' the country, who knows when they will? At least we cleaned out the top, thank you thank you for turning out in record numbers. Youngsters and People of Color especially. You literally saved our democracy. Gratitude as well to the local and state officials who oversaw the tabulations and with a courageous integrity, stood by their totals. Many have had their lives threatened by the president`s mob. We know now, definitively, they are many many followers. I believe politics are where our spiritual beliefs meet real life. 

Our fellow Americans are not enemies.

I read this essay on Covid-19 without knowing its author. It`s beautiful.

 This is from Reddit and it explains exactly what we as country need to do. Everyone should feel safe to speak. No one need agree.

 

 Over a year ago I bought multiple Daniel Smith watercolor sticks because I got a sample once and loved it. Now I had many! When I went to use them it was like dragging stones across glass. They only worked if they were wet so this required frequent soaking. Not conducive to quick decisions. When I complained about them to Ruth, she said "I prefer Caran d`Ache". Ugh. Over and over I forget to get advice [from a woman ideally] and pay the price. So, for my birthday, I bought the set above and they are terrific. I like them for getting color into places where I would lift a previous layer with a loaded damp brush. Drawing isn`t my thing really, I think better with a brush. But they may be a game changer outdoors.

Mathew Dowling included me in his exploration of creativity as a source of health. Mental Health. If you`ve read me over time you might have an opinion if it`s working. The book is a collection of many different visual artists and their strategies. Creative Sanity was a labor of love with insights for perseverance and joy.

 I`ve been looking at Cai Guo-Qiang. This contemporary artist is like no other, his medium is explosives. He makes poetic fireworks on an epic scale. He draws with gunpowder. He is a conceptual artist fully anchored in humanity. His body of work is enormous, one could explore it for days. If you have Netflix you`re in luck. They have the documentary "Sky Ladder; The Art of Cai Guo-Liang". Get comfortable and go directly to the 13 minute mark and watch his "Ninth Wave" presentation in the harbor of Shanghai. It is a gut punch of transcendent beauty.

Below is a photo from 'Elegy' from the Ninth Wave performance. The whole film is fascinating and made me so grateful minds like his exist. Even in communist China.

.

Lots more in his oeuvre. This amazed everyone;

                                                        The Art of War by Cai Guo-Qiang 

 Artists of this caliber sure reinforce my self image as a painter rather than Artist. Have brush will travel. Cai lives in a realm I can hardly conceive of.

                                 Lichen Light for Winter acrylic on paper 22x15 inches, 56x38 cm

 I started this after the 2016 election. I had seen this glowing branch over Fanno Creek on a walk that November day. Like the election, it was a disaster and it went on a pile of rejections. Coincidentally, while waiting for a big pool of watercolor to evaporate-dry on a large piece of Yupo, I looked through the stack and fished it out. What could I do to it? I could emphasize the cold and soggy.

 Please be careful. We are so close to the remedy. The first shipment of vaccine arrived in Chicago last night. The hospitals are full and the staffs are grossly overworked. Collapse is entirely possible.

Let`s continue to be quiet, patient, as we wait for our turn to be inoculated. We can live our lives isolated a little longer. Even with the comfort of Christmas to tempt us, hold firm. This will be the only one where we must hide from this virus. In honor of the 265,000 who no longer have that choice.

click HERE for work for sale in my studio

HERE for prints and merchandise!

Rescue

                                              watermedia on Yupo 40x26 inches, 101.5x66 cm

 No title yet but I`ll be patient waiting for it. A friend saw tears and I do too but I don`t think it`s mournful. Not consciously anyway. In fact I`m getting excited about the election. Deliverance at last! The 4 year nightmare is almost over. It`s my belief that a majority of citizens will not only reject the president but also the Republican Party which enabled this tragedy. Democrats are spooked because of the last time of course but everything is different this election. We have seen what he will do and it is not acceptable. I`m confident in this because of the high turnout for the midterms when Democrats won 41 house seats. That was before Covid. Before impeachment. I`m confident that most Americans are so sick of the drama and incompetence of this administration, they`re desperate for it to end. 225,000 are dead in these last seven months from the corona virus yet it didn`t have to be like this. It will be a wild couple of months waiting for the inauguration of the new president. Trump is a sick insecure man. That is the most dangerous kind. But with a new day in sight, I believe better minds will constrain him. I sure hope so.

                                                                 Photograph: REX/Shutterstock   

Amy Coney Barrett was just confirmed as the newest Justice on the Supreme Court. Conservatives are jubilant. Presumably because hers would be another anti-abortion vote. I would just hope that this majority for 'life' think long and hard about restricting such a fundamental right. I have trouble imaging a more spiritual issue than a woman`s autonomy over her own body. Her right to decide when, if ever, she will bring a new life into the world. Allow her body to contain and support that life. 

 Make no mistake, if Roe v. Wade is invalidated, it will not end abortion. It will only make them dangerous. Throughout human history women have taken great risks to decide this matter for themselves. Rightfully so.

      

                                                                     by Chris Trueman

 Chris is my new painting crush. His work is process driven but edited throughout by a discerning sensibility. It is visually mesmerizing and joyful. Even watching him paint in this video, I still can`t figure out how he does it but I`m going to. He works a lot on Yupo and makes the most of its ability to reflect light back through the paint layers.

click HERE for work for sale in my studio

New Day Coming

                                          Rabat watercolor on Yupo 14x11 inches, 35.5x28 cm

 Even though I was very young, I remember the tension and anxiety of the Vietnam War well. Closing in on the draft age will make someone pay attention. Yet for all the division back then, this moment seems much worse. 213,000 dead as of today, the economy battered and the virus revealing exactly how mean our social order is. Essential workers, usually people of color, are exploited daily. The suddenly unemployed now lack wages and health insurance. The system is rotten, any honest person can see that. There is much to repair.

 An adult is on the way, the nightmare will end at last. The GOP is about to be decimated. They refused to remove the sick leader when they had a chance 10 months ago.

As I grieved Ruth Bader Ginsberg`s death I learned so much about her that inspired me.  As principled and certain as her convictions were,  she never demonized her opponents but instead tried in her most creative arguments, to persuade them. Everyone notices how polarized our country is right now but it doesn`t have to be like this. There is no coming civil war or succession of states. I have little patience with those that swear they will leave the country. That is the ultimate white privilege, just walk away. We are here together, bound by our history together as brutal as that may have been. If the liberal West Coast became its own country where does that leave our black citizens in Alabama? No, if the unthinkable should happen again, we will need each other more than ever. We just need to take some deep breaths and learn to listen again. Let respect be non-negotiable. 

All the while pressuring the powers that be for economic justice and opportunity. 

                                                               photo by Noah Berger

 When I last wrote a blog post, the fires in Oregon had just begun. I was in the evacuation zone told to be ready. The flames never came close thank god but my husband`s hometown of Mehama was destroyed. What everyone in Western Oregon had to endure was smoke of an unimaginable magnitude. The air was between 400-500 on the air quality index for nine days. Under 50 is considered healthy. My hundred year old house could not keep it out. It was like the air wanted to kill me. I did absolutely nothing to avoid taking a deep breath. My studio was off limits because my radon remediation system is based on bringing air in from the outside to displace the radon. The experience was so extreme it put the corona virus into a new, proper perspective. I is nothing compared to what is coming by way of a hotter climate. When a rainforest dries out, there is a whole lot of fuel that can combust quickly. Controlled burns, the way the natives used to do them, is the big conversation now. No one wants to go through that again, it was truly terrifying.

 Falls Creek, the jewel like tributary of the Umpqua River burned in the fires. I`ve only seen it twice, it isn`t nearby. The first time I entered it with John we had just had the worst fight. There was a parking lot so I pulled in and we began to walk in silence. The mossy geology there is so special; a small rainforest stream winds among enormous boulders that are draped in vegetation. The beauty is staggering and our discord was overwhelmed.

Here is a video by Elijah Finlay of the canyon before the fire.

Below are some of my paintings of the canyon;

 Last week I finally got away, first time since the quarantine. To the John Day Fossil Beds National Monument. It was austere colorful and bright. Truth is we went as much for the place we stayed, Painted Hills Vacation Rentals. This is such a fun collection of cottages perched above the funky town of Mitchell.  The Painted Hills are a half hour away.

Even did a painting;

                                                              Equitable Farm 1973

 Those that know me have heard me mention the 'farm'. I spent my 19th year living in that converted chicken coop above. I`m the middle one, the other two were friends from high school who had come by  on their way north to Vancouver. By the time I found the farm it had already been a real commune. Now it was a collection of young people who didn`t quite fit in. Willing to milk goats and weed the garden for a place to live. Everyone was female but me. It was the most educational time in my life. It was there I found my sister.

    watermedia on paper 19x14 inches, 48x36 cm

                                              watermedia on Yupo 14x11 inches, 35.5x28 cm

 Two new abstract paintings.

My practice and mental health have been all over the place. The social distancing especially is getting to me and I`m a recluse. I know many others with more tangible problems. 

Music has been a comfort but in listening to a piece repeatedly it becomes infused with sadness and I need something new again. Most of us will survive this awful time but we will always remember how defeated it felt. A better day will come.

                                                   The late Leonard Cohen buying Cheetos

Listen to his encouraging song Democracy, sung by the Lumineers.

                                                                  by Mark Rothko

 Rothko`s watercolors from the 40`s fascinate me with their loose reference to myth and ritual.

Click HERE for work for sale in my studio