She loved my work, she bought some outright and she wanted an Icelandic landscape. I thought, this is easy! A small watercolor I painted after my visit to Iceland in 2016 prompted her request. Now I very rarely do commissions because my paintings get built through a personal, intuitive struggle. Probably true for most painters. It is difficult, to say the least, to really understand my own motives. Why do I want to paint something? The answer is usually vague and never verbal. Yet language is the medium to connect two visual imaginations. It is obviously impossible. So why say yes? A love for the subject, deep familiarity, liking the patron, money, and a willingness to be challenged. Yes! This painting took six weeks, a really long time for a painting of this size. Because I liked her and wanted her to be pleased, I gave her two in-process photos which launched long emotional conversations. The variety of landscapes underneath this surviving layer are many. I had listened carefully to her vision of the landscape and when I got to this point I knew it had to be the end. The commission would never have happened without my complete confidence I could do it. It was more like a promise. But by last week I just wanted the whole thing over. She did not have to accept it, I would return her deposit and we both could get on with life. But she liked it. What I learned was a better idea of myself and new communication skills that I hope I never need to use that way again.
What can I say? It reminds me of February of 2020. We saw the virus escape China and devastate northern Italy and Iran. I bought some hand sanitizer while others bought extra toilet paper. I truly didn`t know pandemics were even possible anymore. So we all just watched it arrive day by day, closer and closer and soon change everything. What would I have done differently?
All winter Russian troop movements were reported in the press as the Russian military amassed its might on the borders of Ukraine. Everybody could see it but it was so hard to believe because there was no provocation. One shrewd guy with abundant mental illness could attack a country of 44 million in plain sight. What kind of world do we live in? This bleak situation threatens us all potentially. We voted our crazy leader out but the one thing I agreed with President Trump, was in his reluctance to involve American forces everywhere. Now I wonder if when we step back, evil dudes like Vlad fill the void? The Russian people don`t support this, it makes no sense. How do you counter madness? Yet here we are. Nuclear weapons make the room for error tiny but we must do more for Ukraine, that much is clear.
Not a lot of happiness around I notice. It`s an inside job. If we want to change the world, let`s start with ourselves. The only exception I have with this list is the trip. Take it. Travel makes us better people.
That`s the gorge of the Rio Grande River outside of Taos New Mexico. We are going to visit this spring to do research on moving there. I left 28 years ago and never looked back. This is John`s idea, and it merits consideration. He has lived in the wet part of Oregon all his life. He deserves some sun.
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3 comments:
Randall,
Well, I love both of those new pieces in addition to the winter piece. I mentioned how that commission reminds me of California. Good for you for sticking that out. I don't have enough experience to do that and any time someone has suggested it to me I really inwardly cringe. It's a really intimate connection and I am not sure I could do it.
I love Per Adolfsen's work! I found him awhile back and I love the idea of working with pencils like that. If I switched mediums I know where I would go.
I hope New Mexico will work or even some other place that has things that both you and John will love and need as you start to get older.
Thank you for the post and take care!
Libby
Once again a thoughtful post...your words, I love reading them, they always ring true in my mind. You didn't explain why you chose to do the Iceland commission on canvas, rather than Yupo...just curious. Happy for you that she liked the beautiful piece.
I copied your piece about Happiness....SMILE, I need to do more of that!
Perhaps a compromise...6 months here and 6 months in New Mexico. Life's too short and it's our last go around, do what makes you both happy.
A real feast for the eys today! Thanks for sharing everything. Have you tried the “paper” made from stone? Cannot recall the name but I think it has a bit of tooth for the oils? Hope you find much sunshine in your future in NM of wherever life takes you.
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